Hey my Mrmintyfishers.
I’m back early. Why? BECAUSE YOU NEED TO SORT YOUR SHIT.
This isn’t a friendly visit. I don’t care how your New Years went; partly because all I did was sit on the couch with a bottle of cidar and feel sorry for myself; but partly because if the state of my News feed is anything to go by, your lives are terrible and quite frankly, I don’t care.
Let me start out by saying that I don’t know anyone ugly. Not because I surround myself with the specifically designed elite; but because I only see people as ugly when I’m mad at them and after that, they look perfectly acceptable again. Yeah. I’m just that saintly.
The reason I bring this up is that the self esteem on my news feed is phenomenally low. Either that or the attention seeking is at an all time high. Here are my answers to your life problems.
Q.Why am I always getting walked all over?
A.Because you’re letting yourself
Q.Why does he treat me like shit?
A.Because he’s a dick. You know this, and you’re still there.
Q.Why do girls think I’m a player?
A.Because you take bitches home all day, err day.
Q.How can I make my flatmates like me more?
These are rules for life. There are more, but I have had a lazy Pulse (because I’m still 14) and my anger at my news feed is slowly being taken over by the urge to Google dubstep remixes of the Coronation Street theme song.
I do love your faces,